Friday, March 14, 2008
I tried to ignore the anniversary. Of course I couldn't... I'm incapable of describing the feeling in words. Disappointed, disenchanted, depressed, sad, shattered, hurt. Nothing comes close, at least not in my lexicon. Jimmy, unfortunately, you'll never know what a truly important person you were to me and what kind of effect losing you would have.
Combined with a couple of other minor personal events, your death completely changed the course of my life. It's most poignantly captured in this photograph from a couple of weeks ago. That's me, sitting alone on the summit of Aconcagua, crumbling and thinking of you. My climbing partner caught what was one of the most intense emotional moments of my life. I've wanted to climb that thing for over 15 years. Now I have. I also have a full catalog of other absolutely unreal adventures from the past year that I never thought I'd actually get to. It all changed when you died. I think about you all the time and it makes me keep moving, trying new things, seeing things in a fresh light and seeking out new experiences. I know now what I really have to do.
I wouldn't trade the past year for anything in the world... except to have you back with us. I owe it all to you man. I miss you terribly Jimmy Baby.